An overseas reader asked what I do with body-image issues. I wrote her this:
If it's full-blown dysmorphia, there's a chapter by DaLene Forester, "Image is Everything" in my book, EMDR Solutions 2, but if it's regular "I don't look like Twiggy, so I'm not okay" distress, I start with the 2-Hand Interweave: "In one hand, hold the way that society tells you that you should look. (body fat, shape, skin color, etc.) In the other, hold the body you have." 10 - 20 BLS. "What do you notice?"
I then target with the EMDR standard protocol the shame, grief, anger, etc. that arises, taking special care with the cognitions. I often go back to the transmission of the messages: family, teasing, media images. "How did that message get into you?" And go through the stages of grief in accepting the body they have. Make sure you target shopping for clothes, being around people who have that ideal shape, and anyone who currently shames them for their shape. You may target them being naked (with a lover, at the gym, at the spa) and dealing with any distress that arises.
As a tall woman with no butt and a big belly (like every person on my dad's side), who got teased a lot as a teen, I've gone through my own acceptance process. And it comes down to clearing the grief, accepting reality, and realizing that I'm lovable, that the person who matters thinks I'm sexy, and that this body is going to continue to deteriorate in the aging process, so I'd better take care of it.
Robin, both of your books are "gold mines" to any therapist using EMDR!
Posted by: Marielouise Dodson | October 28, 2011 at 08:07 AM
Robin, thank you for these blogs. I look forward to reading what you send and find it very valuable, even though I rarely use EMDR approaches. Thank you.
Posted by: Mary S. Stowell | October 29, 2011 at 06:06 AM
Love what you wrote in the last paragraph. :)
Lothlorien
Posted by: Lothlorien | November 03, 2011 at 05:38 PM
Thanks, everyone!
Posted by: Robin Shapiro | November 03, 2011 at 06:20 PM